Purple Diamond Dancer

Found another one of these....

Was intrigued by the title as it goes to what may become a theme for one of my unproduced movies, until it becomes produced....

Enjoy.

One Minute Mystery!!!

What if you were given a limited amount of time, say sixty seconds, to solve a mystery. Could you do it?

My goal with this script was simply to create a situation wherein I imagined I had only one set, and seven or eight actors/actresses for one day. Much like most of today's speed filmmaking competitions you may have read about or even participated in.  Enjoy.


FADE  IN:

INT.  JACK'S  BAR  AND  GRILL  --  DAY

A  modern  day  sports  bar,  of  medium  size.    The  kitchen  is
closed.    Seven  stools  at  the  bar,  and  several  tables  strewn
evenly  about.

JACK,  a  man  in  his  late  20's,  unlocks  his  bar  to  start  the
day.    He  struts  behind  the  bar,  turns  the  tv  on  to  the
pregame  show,  and  starts  to  wipe  down  the  bar.

A  man,  JOHN  SMITH  stumbles  in.    He  appears  to  have  been
shot  3  times.

JOHN  SMITH
Help  me!

Jack  runs  to  the  man.

JOHN  SMITH
My  girlfriend  did  this  to  me.    I  was
suppose  to  meet  her  here.

He  falls  dead  in  Jack's  arms.

Jack  lies  him  down,  and  checks  for  ID.    He  finds  a  wallet
in  the  inner  jacket  pocket,  takes  it  out,  and  reads.

JACK
"John  Smith."    Wonderful.

Jack  drags  the  body  to  the  kitchen.    Returns  behind  the
bar,  picks  up  the  phone,  and  dials  911.

JACK
Yes...I'm  at  Jack's  Bar  and  Grill,
and  someone's  been  shot....  He's
dead.    Could  you  send  the  police
right  away?

He  hangs  up.

ANGLE  ON  DOORWAY

A  tall  redhead,  SUZY,  drop  dead  gorgeous,  and  seductively
dressed,  strides  in.

ANGLE  ON  BAR

She  takes  a  stool  to  the  far  left.    Jack  moves  to  take  her
order.
JACK
What'll  you  have?

SUZY
Long  Island  Iced  Tea.    I'm  waiting
for  a  man  named  John,  has  he
arrived?

JACK
No...I'll  have  your  drink  in  a
moment.

SUZY
There's  a  fashion  show  on  E!    Could
you  change  the  channel?

JACK
Sure.    No  problem.

He  finds  the  remote  behind  the  bar,  and  changes  the
channel.    A  fashion  show  is  in  progress.

BENNY,  one  of  the  bar's  regulars,  walks  up,  and  puts  a
stool  between  himself  and  Suzy,  sits  down,  and  motions
Jack.

BENNY
I'll  have  the  usual.

JACK
Coming  right  up,  Benny.

BENNY
Where's  the  game?    If  I  wanted  to
see  this,  I  could've  stayed  home
with  my  wife.

JACK
Kickoff's  not  for  fifteen  minutes,
Benny.    Be  patient.

A  petite  blonde  takes  a  seat  on  the  other  side  of  Benny.
Jack  tends.

BLONDE
Has  John  arrived  yet?

JACK
Er,  no.    What  can  I  get  for  you
today?

BLONDE
I'll  have  Sex  On  The  Beach.
JACK
That's  nice,  but  what  would  you  like
to  drink?    Old  bartender  joke,
coming  right  up.

Jack  goes  into  his  routine,  throwing  bottles  into  the  air,
spinning  them  over  his  head,  and  behind  his  back,  pouring
liquers  into  the  shaker,  and  eventually  into  the  glass.

He  plonks  the  drink  in  front  of  the  blonde,  and  tosses  two
straws  in  the  glass.

A  round  of  applause  follows.

JACK
Thank  you,  thank  you!    I'm  here  all
week!

BENNY
I  never  tire  of  that.

JACK
That'll  be  five  dollars.

The  blonde  puts  a  ten  on  the  bar.    Jack  goes  to  the  cash
register,  and  rings  her  up,  and  gives  her  five  ones  back.
She  leaves  them  all  on  the  bar,  and  takes  a  sip.

She  smiles,  and  takes  three  of  the  ones  back  inside  her
purse.    She's  about  to  leave,  but  notices  the  fashion  show
on  the  tv,  and  retakes  her  stool.

ANGLE  ON  DOORWAY

A  tall,  thin  man  enters.    He  notices  the  empty  stool  next
to  Suzy,  and  takes  it.    The  SMOKER  takes  out  a  pack  of
cigarettes,  taps  one  out,  and  begins  to  light  up.

JACK
Excuse  me,  sir.    I  can't  let  you  do
that,  laws  being  what  they  are.

SMOKER
That's  ok,  I  brought  my  own  ashtray.

Smoker  pulls  an  ashtray  out  of  his  jacket  pocket,  and  sets
it  on  the  bar,  after  taking  a  puff.

Suzy  shies  away,  As  does  Benny  on  his  other  side.

MANNY,  a  stout  man  of  Spanish  decent,  takes  an  empty  stool,
and  plops  down.

MANNY
Jack,  I'll  have  a  beer.    Place  sure
is  filling  up,  when's  the  game
start?

JACK
Soon.    Here  you  go.

He  places  a  mug  of  draft  in  front  of  Manny.

ANGLE  ON  DOORWAY

A  young  couple  enters.    Musclebound  with  a  crew  cut,  he
wears  army  camos,  and  dogtags.    The  tall  lanky  brunette,
MARIE,  he  arrives  with  on  his  arm  dresses  casually.

ANGLE  ON  BAR  FAVORING  EMPTY  STOOLS

They  march  up  to  the  two  remaining  empty  stools  next  to
Manny.

Jack  throws  two  napkins  in  front  of  them.

JACK
What  would  you  like?

JOHN  C
She'll  have  a  cuba  libra,  and  I'll
have  a  rum  and  coke.

She  pulls  his  dogtags.    Jack  notices  that  they  read  "John
Covington."

MARIE
I  hate  when  you  order  for  me!

JACK
Whatever  you  like...

MARIE
Cuba  libra.

He  walks  away,  shaking  his  head.

ANGLE  ON  DOORWAY

As  sirens  can  be  heard  in  the  distance,  a  thin  non  descript
MAN  sneaks  in,  and  sits  at  a  table  toward  the  back,  with  a
view  of  the  tv.

ANGLE  ON  TV

Suzy  walks  down  the  runway,  in  the  latest  sexy  fashion.

SUZY
(pointing)
There  I  am  on  the  runway!    That's
me,  that's  me!!!

The  rest  at  the  bar  look  at  the  screen,  in  awe.

John  C  takes  special  interest.

BENNY
Could  we  watch  the  game  now,  or
what?    Manny,  are  you  with  me?

MANNY
Yeah,  Jack,  put  on  the  game.

Jack  moves  to  the  remote,  and  starts  to  change  the  channel.

SUZY
I'm  still  watching!

Jack  changes  the  channel  back.

BENNY
Let's  put  it  to  a  vote...who  wants
to  see  the  game?

MANNY
I  do.

JOHN  C
Um,  yeah,  sure.

BENNY
That's  three.    Anyone  else?

He  nudges  the  smoker.

BENNY
Any  one  else?

Smoker  grunts,  not  paying  attention.

JACK
Ok,  that's  three.    And  you  girls  all
want  to  see  the  fashion  show?

They  all  nod  and  answer  in  agreement.

JACK
Fashion  show  it  is  then.

BENNY
What  do  you  mean?!?

This is roughly about half of the 11 page script if I recall correctly.  Maybe a little more if I don't. You'd think that when you perform the Select All command, it would in fact highlight all of the text.  Maybe my browser is right. I need a new computer....

Or at least a better understanding of what the OS will do after it can't take anymore security updates. However, that's not what this is about.

Based on the above, If I had around $150K, I could probably produce this, or any other feature film, for that matter. I have those unproduced scripts ready to go, although, the industry or the business that we call show, may have a different definition of "Ready to go." 

You may question my financial math, however, there's several variables that go into making a movie that most know absolutely nothing about, up to and including how much it costs to get an actor you recognize to take time out of their busy schedule to work for someone they've never heard of before.

I hope that I get to make this one someday, however, I'd prefer to make my award winning feature first.  That way I'd be able to keep a lot of promises that I've made over the years to those that I've worked with in the past.  

You may even be reading this, I don't know. 

Let me know what you think when you think it in all the usual places.

72 and sunny in Redondo Beach.  e You next time.™

A Picture

is worth a thousand words, or so they say. We've quite possibly not talked about who "they" are.  Maybe we have. I once said somewhere that, "We don't know who they are. Well, I do."  

The mysterious they are quite possibly those that know more than you do.  We don't care what they know, as long as they know more.  I'm not saying that I know more than you do. I'm typing it.

These days with all the various AIs out there, you can probably write a thousand words, and have it represented as a picture. I'm sure the tech has gotten to a point wherein you can create a video of a living woman in various stages of undress doing things that you couldn't show in a PG-13 movie.  

However, you can probably talk about them.  I didn't realize I was going to write about the MPAA's rating system today, but here we are.  

A beautiful naked woman walks along a public beach.  As long as she doesn't have sex with anyone on it, you get an R rating.  She can even kiss someone. That same woman in a bikini gets a PG-13, as her parts are covered.

If she were to start making love to someone on that same beach, you'd be in NC-17 territory. Back in my day, that rating was X, until the porn industry jacked it, and made it XXX.  In 2024 we even have the ability to buy the extension for any domain. 

PG will be something without offensive language or violence, and a G rated movie doesn't even have that, however, there is conflict, as that's the essence of all drama.  

We have the ability to enter into the language part of this discussion, as we're discussing creating words that add up to a certain number to describe a simple visual.  I once did the math on how many words it would take to make a movie this way. 

Some would say that you can use the F word, as that's how adults talk, however, I was raised in a polite society wherein you shouldn't be using The Seven Words You Can't Say on Television. Visually we can describe something without them.  

As a writer, I'd simply use three words: They make love.  

Hopefully that's only two people in the privacy of their own home? 

The same scene can take place outdoors at a secluded beach or park. 

There's a possibility that there's more than simply two people that make up "they." That's for the author to decide, as I'm simply reporting on what may happen.  

I started this discussion with a concept about knowing about "they."  They are not us, and we are not them. You may never be part of a they, unless someone wants to lay an epithet on you.

I'm about half way to my goal, and I don't necessarily know that these words would necessarily create an image that anyone wants to see. I could attempt to crank out more, however, I think that's enough for today, as I have other writing to do elsewhere that you probably won't get to read either.

You may see it someday however.

72 and sunny in Redondo Beach. e You next time™

Fraction Magic - Detailed Vote Rigging Demonstration

Watch and learn.

 

Simple math methinks. I learned fractions in 3rd grade. I didn't realize that you could tell a machine how to do things and when to do them until about six years later.

That's ancient history for most of you, as it took place before you were born. I'm simply saying in this case, unless you have a masters in Computer Science from the University of Stupendous Choices, that I know more than you do.

The grammarians among you may be thinking to yourself, "Self, one of those commas isn't necessary." To which I simply state, "Not the point!!!!!"

I don't want to distract from the message of the video, however, if you don't have 24 plus minutes to watch and learn then to put simply, x*y doesn't always equal z.

Wherein x is the number of votes, y is less than or greater than one, and z becomes more votes than actually cast in Nevada for instance.

Now I'm not one to complain, however, I shall lament.

We brought this on ourselves. The need for the technology that allows me to write this here in the beach that is round and you read it wherever you are exists.

A hundred years ago, we didn't have any of it. We had amazing mathematicians and theoreticians that visualized all the formulas that are taking place in the background that you may not even know about today.

Einstein, Tesla, and the like. Aside: Einstein never said, "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."

Much thanks to my friends on Twitter that found this video. It may be down by the time you read this. 

72 and sunny in Redondo Beach. As far as you know....

The Rant Of Randomness

Friday May 29, 2020

The Order, and Google Chrome. Original Video Animation, and more computer languages
have died than I know exist. Platforms that I didn't know about a week ago I will be
using. This is what happens when the little head rules the big head. 

Book of the face amps me up all most as much as Twitter these days. Social Justice Warriors, or
SJW's, are truly taking their influence to the next level. What if no one's listening? What
then? Maybe half of your followers are following you because they want to laugh at you
instead of with you. Maybe they're telling their "friends" that they should do the opposite
of what you're espousing. Not too much we can do about this, is there? 

We know better. We know the correct path, but do we have the right to tell others how to
live?  Certainly in the 21st century, we have the privilege to be allowed to do so. Just pay
enough money to the right sites, and have at it. Most are sheeple, and won't think for
themselves as they need to be told what to do and when to do it. If you're lucky, they'll
give you money for that information too. 

All the good stuff is free. Well, if you're getting it free, it's on an ad supported site, and
you've probably subscribed. The pay per click model is relevant and rampant.
Micropayments are a thing in this era of rampant blockchain creation, and everyone
shouting, "Pick me, pick me!!!" 

We're only in the middle of a pandemic if we know when it will end. Those that think they
know say we're going to be going through this to the end of the year at least. They're
selling fear. The clowns to the left of me are saying, "Stay home. Stay Safe. We're in this
together." These statements are only true if you believe them. 

I'm glad I live in a country where I don't have to listen to those in charge if I don't have
to. Sure, there's consequences, and that's fine. I'm willing to accept them. Food is
medicine. I've said before that I met a doctor that states Americans have the healthiest
urine on the planet. Okay. What do I do with this information? 

I don't know. Or, the lazy person's response to anything lately, "Google it." NO!!!! One,
there's better search engines out there, and more importantly B) If you don't know, then

you don't know. Say it!!!! Try it with me, "I don't know." Wasn't that easy?

There's a lot of great stuff out there, and a lot of great people willing to give you free

information, however, you have to act on it, and be mindful. The jokers to the right are
probably saying en masse, "You should only listen to me!!!" 

Being a centrist sucks sometimes, and that probably rates about a 50 on the suck scale.
Typical. Remember, on that scale, lower scores are better. However, the ability to make a
decision that's going to tick off half of the unwashed masses no matter what you do is
quite possibly a learned skill that I've mastered. At least it's an idea. 

I was attempting to explain this to someone recently, and either I started talking too fast,
or an old injury came back, but the point is I started slurring my speech. Not a great way
to get someone to listen to you. The default after that is to go louder, because maybe
they didn't hear you the first time. Or if they did, they weren't paying attention, and I
don't truly like repeating myself. 

I don't know how many plans that I'm either directly or indirectly involved with have been
put on hold, or at least, delayed. There's a serious lack of communication going on not
just here, but everywhere. I do know that it's been over 45 years since I made the
decision that put me on this current path that led me here today to give these words to
you.

I don't know how many of you are going to read this, and I don't know where you'll read it
either. I just know that my advice may be heard, and you may have heard it elsewhere
first. It doesn't make what I'm saying here any less valid. It just means that I may be
right this time. 

You may proceed at your leisure or peril. Choose to ignore me and come back for the
laughs, as you know, the funny is always free. 

72 and sunny in Redondo Beach. Adjust your expectations accordingly.™

Today's Interruption....

Brought to you by, My Good Friend, Mark!!! I've spoken about him either here or elsewhere before, and if I have time, I'll probably do the linky thing,  however today was about the following;

Me, 5 years ago

Yes, it was an odd year, hence no mustache. I'm not sure if I'm going to shave for 2019 yet, however she who shall not be named may appreciate it, however the call was about him finding this photo.

Great. The man's worth shall we say North of 20 million $$$, and all he has to do on a Saturday is call to tell me he found this pic online. Thanks, Mark! It's not like I have work to do or anything, after all, it's not Tuesday....

He called to tell me that he was bored, and he found this, as he did a search for "Mike Shields Magic Castle Hollywood".  He also came up with a pic of my father, and again, if I have time, I'll post that here or elsewhere.

He opened the conversation with, "I found a pic of you from 20 years ago!!!" No, Mark. Had you checked the timestamp, you would've found that was taken a little over 5 and a half years ago. He stated that I still looked pretty good back then. Well, I look better now, as I'm around 50 pounds lighter, and I've kept it off. 

Not the point, and I'm sure it's way too late to make this a short story.  He hung up and attempted to send me the pic via text. Two problems with that, in reverse order of importance: He didn't know how to do that without hanging up, and even then, he called my landline.

That's right. A man that has more money than I ever will has not figured out that he's been calling my landline for almost 25 years now.

That's my story. Hope you enjoyed it.™

Yes, I Still Write Here

82%!!! Why? The same rate is relatively SPAM that you receive. Twitter is headlines. Book of the face is friends? People are using both to sell. Instagram is pictures of food. At least it was when it first started. I couldn't get an IG account until I had a cellphone, but now I can read them on the desktop. Mix all accounts together, and you come up with?

What do I have: Blogger, WordPress (both personal & professional until I get fired...), Twitter(duh), Book of the face (No, duh), Pinterest to a point, What else? Typepad, Tumblr, Flickr, Model Mayhem, Stage 32, Amen Me! however not really posting there. I'm sure there's more, however I can't seem to remember, or I've forgotten how to login, and they've fallen into disuse. Ah, I glazed over LinkedIn™. How could we forget? Always remember the bane of your existence.

Bane is a Batman supervillain. Good to know that supervillain is in the spellcheck dictionary.

Taking 5.

To review.... I have nothing new to write, or say, or anything even remotely like that. I'm simply typing words to make a word count. I'm attempting to make my words count, as that's the first agreement. The Toltecs had it right, however they're not in the spellcheck dictionary. I'm going to publish this from my brand account, and see how much traction it gets. [Unless I don't. Self Ed.]
 
Speaking of which, we're back on track! Train stories. When I was a kid, I was into trains. We got a Tyco set, and then a somewhat weekly trip to Kit Kraft, followed by a subscription to Model Railroader filled my childhood. We also got Sports Illustrated. Every Thursday, I'd get home and it would be there, and I'd read most of it during football season. The rest of the year, not so much. I'm sure they had a swimsuit issue back then, but I don't recall.

We saved everything!!! Apparently that's a bad thing. We paid for it, so we keep it, right? This is not conducive to living in society in 2018. It goes to the George Carlin routine. A place for your stuff. Well, stuff is a good thing. There's apparently a line where you have enough stuff, at which point anything you get after that is too much stuff.

My hard drive is becoming like that. I have all these files and pictures and videos that I may have downloaded, and not read or watched. I've looked at the pictures once, and decided I needed to have it forever for whatever reason, and I haven't looked at since.

My need to find love may mean that I'm looking in all the wrong places. Sure, they're pretty, however I'm probably not going to meet most of them. I have met a select few, and they're the best of the best.

Do you age out of the system? Is that a thing? Living forever is going to be hard, or at least difficult if not impossible. However, we know there's a first time for everything. Immortality is a good goal. Our spirit lives forever. It truly depends on what you believe after that. When you die, where do you truly go? Heaven is defined differently according to the different world religions. There's only karma. Neither good or bad. It just is.

How'd we get from social media sites to religion? Is not each a type thereof? There are those who swear by Twitter or more likely, swear at it. Others book of the face or LinkedIn™. Are we writing formally? Commas are pauses. Line delivery.

Pastor Dean asked about the acting in Crazy Rich Asians. It was adequate. Cast all Asians in one movie, and then we don't have to think about them the rest of the year. Hollywood? Definitely. Racially diverse, and yet not. We're told myths about pay imbalance, and how those mean we should vote a certain way. The other side may believe we're all equal, but that's not entirely true either. Haves and have nots. Maybe it's one word: havenots. No, it's plural doesn't exist, however I've heard it on the news, so it must be a word!!!

Not is a great word. Logical negation. A conjunction if I recall Grammar Rock correctly. Ah. I'll be uploading today, so I guess that means no recycling for me.

37 left. What to talk about? Kids today can't differentiate between ads and news online. That's where the opening stat comes from, but isn't everyone attempting to sell us something? I'm attempting to sell you on the fact that everyone is attempting to sell you something, so I guess I'm guilty too.

72 and sunny in Redondo Beach. Adjust your expectations accordingly™.

In Case You've Forgotten....

I'm also an actor....


Dead Maker from Steve Oakley Films on Vimeo.

You don't have to pay $3.99 to view the trailer....

This is where the movie business is these days for independents such as myself. We should be able to do better, and those of us that don't have a career in the military or corporate should be able to pursue our interests in Hollywood, even though anyone can make a movie anywhere at any time.

They even have festivals for this sort of thing. The one this movie was in won The Best Cast award, and I was a small part, as you can see from the above.

This is not a rant, but merely, a post that can be shared. As it looks like I'm putting it on the wrong site, I may have to cross post and do the other things.

That's right. My social media due diligence.

72 and sunny in Redondo Beach.™

An Email To Send

Listen To Me
The title of the movie I'm in with Kirk Cameron. Hey, that's great. If you see this before you hear this, then you're getting it twice, however I do need to say these things so in advance, I'm sorry. I love you. I'm not sorry that I love you. It's a matter of as you know, I don't like repeating myself. Furthermore, you've told me things twice that I heard the first time, therefore you've wasted your time.

Okay, at some point, all of this will make sense, and I don't know when that will be. The love song hasn't been written yet, however it will be written by the time I get to Phoenix, which is a song that has already been written by someone else.

How many tracks does the mind have? I know you know, but I don't. Probably seven. 7 chakras, and mine are out of alignment. As a result,, I get a chiropractor telling me to see him n times a week, and you say that we shouldn't see them. Okay! Message received and understood.

Sometimes I think you don't listen to me. I get that your things are more important, and the constant feel of you pushing me away is hurtful. I've said that before. Well, I wrote it. To say things, I would have to actually speak to you, and we don't do that a lot.

You know things that I don't. I know things that you don't. We have been brought together to do great thigns. Things. Wow. Sometimes that gets autocorrected by this beast. Sometimes not.  On at least one occasion, I've said I shouldn't have the TV running while I type this exercise, journal, meditation, or whatever this is to you.

A text. From you?

No. Volleyball tomorrow night. I'm on Nova 2, or the team that is not the first team. I was on 3 last time around, however this year we only have 2 teams. Why is that? Personalitly conflicts with the organizer/coach.  Not with me, as I don't truly care, however THE believes that she knows more than he does, and for the most part, that's not technically correct.  Also, we don't have practices this year like we did the last time. That's mildly distressing.

Forgot to get info for THE relative to V'ball. Was more interested in dealing with the filming I'm doing for Trust The Process, the name of the team that one of our church members created in the Torrance League.  420 to that point ;;)

I guess that's a double wink with a smile.

The need for speed exists. It's almost noon, and I think I should finish before then.

Directing the sex scene, in a PG-13 movie. They're easy to write: They make love. Done! Now it's a timing thing. How long does it need to be to play out? Porn says 3 minutes, and show everything. With clothes on, is it still 3 minutes?  Know that I don't know what true romance is, however I believe there's a movie with that title.

Love is....

Something you fall in. A thing between two people. Other words to define their relationship. Let's break that word down shall we? Re- a prefix meaning again. -ship in this case is a suffix, and as you know, shippers exist online, and it happens more than you know. Captain Kirk once said, "A ship is a ship."  The end of I believe IV, as they get assigned The Enterprise 1701-A. 

Do I reread things that I write?

To continue: -tion is apparently not a suffix. Maybe it's -ion. Okay, then the root word is late. lation. Not a word. Fascinating. Why are odd numbers funnier than even? My favorite: 37. Why? Because it's oone more than 36. Also, a number that I can psychologically force you to choose. Well, not know, because I told you that's the end of the illusion. Tell 'em what you're going to do. Do it. Tell 'em when you're done. Beginning, middle, end. This is why we have 3 act structure. Of course, you can change that to 5 if you're bold and daring.

So, a relationship is...atoms rotating around each other that bump into each other from time to time depending on how the wind is blowing.  That can't possibly be right, however it is what the word broken down into its parts sums up, and we are greater than the sum of our parts. 3 words needed.

Other Than Spelling Mistakes...

I found this while looking for something else entirely unrelated. Let your mind go, and the body will follow. Everyone is improvising....

7 steps to #manifesting #manifest #manifestdestiny #makeyourdestiny #energy #vibe #vibration #raiseyourvibration #highvibes #destiny #fate #kismet #positive #darkandlight #lightworker #create #love #lover #happy #onwardsandupwards #newbeginnings #honeysflylife #phoenix #shewolf

A photo posted by Holly 'Honey' Miely (@honeypoledancer) on Oct 10, 2016 at 10:26am PDT

Sometimes, A Well Timed Heckle is all You've Got

Those that know me, truly know me, in all but The Biblical sense will attest to the following: I've made my living by heckling. In fact, if I were a supervillain, I'd probably be, The Heckler!!! As we know, I'm Batman. Sshhh!!! Don't tell anyone. It's a secret. I read this and had to respond.

Why, you ask? Or maybe you didn't. I don't know. Maybe you haven't even read this far. If you have, three reasons come to mind for a well timed heckle:

1. To get a laugh
2. To speed up the proceedings, and finally
3. editorial commentary

Maybe that last one covers the other two, I don't know. Having performed stand up comedy for most of my life, I can tell you, it's not good when you allow a heckler on a roll. You have to shut them down immediately. Fortunately, as most of you know, I'm able to do that, too. Picking your spots, and using a heckle on an occasional basis, is okay sometimes. You may heckle me by replying, or leaving a comment below. Or a tweet. Unless you see this on Facebook, in which case, you should Like this, really. Like this, like this!!! ;)

 

Posted via email from matchesmalone's posterous

Free Time

Is an oxymoron.

There, I said it.

Chris Brogan just wrote a post about managing your time, and that it's your business. Allow me to elaborate further. It is a business. That is yours. I'm not going to tell you how to manage your time, that's for you to decide.

I could make this a nebulous Seth Godin-like post and end here, however, I believe that would be a disservice, therefore, I'll elaborate. And maybe expand on a few of the ideas I've read lately, including Chris Penn's. He actually was elaborating on his previous post.

Now, I could make this an elaborate discussion about the various points mentioned in the somewhat referenced articles, complete with bullet points and action items, however, again, that's for you to decide.

Here's how I do it.

Twitter and Facebook are mentioned as distractions, and that may be true. For you. As all of you should know, they are part of, The Experiment, which as always, continues. I recently passed the two year anniversary of same, and so far, it's been successful beyond my expectations. Maybe for the three year anniversary, I'll actually let you in on what it is.... But of course, if I do that, it will taint the results. Something about the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle at work.

I have seven blogs that I write for, at various times about various subjects, including this one. I realize now that I should've put this one on my Idea Masters™ blog, as time is an idea that I may have mastered.

"Bow down to me, Time!!! I am, your Master!!!" And when I say that, I'm actually writing it for you to do, as your evil laugh is quite possibly better than mine. And I don't have the time to create the 12 second Twitvid required. Maybe I'll do that later.

We are all time travelers. We move forward, one second at a time. Well, that can be broken down further if you're a computer, but for the general populace, it's a good enough measure. Here's where the business part comes in. I charge for my time. $150/hr, minimum 2.  Of course, first contact is free, and I don't expect you to pay me to show up at your party, if you're inviting me. Just don't ask me to pay to be there. I'm not showing up.

There are certain things I do at various times of the day, and I've been pretty successful at compartmentalizing them. Some would argue that multitasking is a bad thing, however, I find this not to be true. While I'm writing this, I'm also tweeting, answering email, listening to the TV in the background, and finishing up a screenplay adaptation I got hired to do.

Some would argue that at any particular second, you can only focus on one thing, and that's probably true, for them. It's a learned practice to be able to do more than one thing at once, and then not think about the fact that you're actually doing more than one thing at once. The five senses come to mind here, as you're probably not actively responding to those stimuli right now, however, you are quite possibly doing at least two or three of them while you're reading this.

So, if you truly believe that you have free time, meaning, time that you're not charging yourself or others for, then go ahead, have fun this week. Or, you can do what I did yesterday. Figure out that time with your family is more valuable than anything you would possibly charge for, and spend time with them. Just realize, you are spending time. Not free.

56 and rainy in Redondo Beach.

Let me know what you think after you adjust your expectations accordingly.

Not My Usual Thing

Image via WikipediaI'm sure this isn't original, however, given that I'm attending a networking event tomorrow, and that I am, after all, a magician (think John Zatara to make this relevant), I've created a simple way to get any contact's phone number with a simple card trick.

And, you're going to hate me for this, however, I'm going to use one of those cliché magician phrases you may have seen in your lifetime. You'll know it when you see it, so, I may flag it for you. This is your basic 'pick a card' trick, which I'm sure you've seen a thousand and one times, but with a twist.

Now, I usually start those types of card tricks with a phrase similar to the following, "We're going to do a pick a card trick. That's where you pick a card, and then I find it. Because, if I picked a card and then found it, that would be, stupid." You'll need to know how to force a card selection, you may use the classic force, or, your favorite method (that's what I warned you about earlier, "Use your favorite method.")

Next, have them concentrate on their card, and ask them to take out their phone. Give them your cell#, and ask them to text you anything, while concentrating on their card. The content of the text doesn't matter, however, you may want to let them know they don't have to text you the name of the card, with a phrase like, "Don't let me read it, I've seen the trick before...."

As you know I'm sure, your phone comes with what's called a wallpaper picture, that can be well, anything. Here's the trick prep, use a picture of the card you forced earlier. When you receive the text, you can ignore or whatever, after you hand them your phone, revealing the pic of the card you forced. "Is this your card?" Hopefully, applause or laughter or both ensues, and you can get the contact's name, and enter it into your phone, as you've successfully received their number in a hopefully entertaining way.

I have yet to try this so, let me know how it works for you, or if you think you'd use this in other situations. If you don't know any card tricks, try reading this book, or this one.

I'm Blocked

Cover of Kill Your DarlingsOr not. Some would tell you that there's no such thing as Writer's Block. Ok, me, and Lynn Mamet for two. And yes, she is related to David. From what she told me, he stole her toys as a kid. I have to wonder if that led to well, any episode of, The Unit.  So, what is it, exactly?

As previously discussed, we can't really quantify what it is. But I digress, as Peter David is fond of saying, or as of this writing, writing. What we do know is simply this: If you think you're blocked, that's the problem. You're thinking. Don't do that. Or this, or, the other thing.

Lest these look like morning pages, let me assure you, I'm writing this in the afternoon. And I may have to take a break soon, as someone from my alleged family will want the computer. I'm not alleging that I have a family, but a computer.

The first time I heard the phrase, "Writer's block" I pictured one of those blocks I had as a kid, with letters on up to six of the sides, maybe one of them had a picture of a toy. Or a duck. Why a duck? Why not a chicken? Ask Harpo, he might know. And if you haven't seen A Day at the Races, run right out to your Netflix queue, and rent it. I'm not affiliated with either Netflix or The Marx Brothers, I just thought you might enjoy it. And make sure to bet two dollars on Sun Up.

So, if we are to assume that I'm right, and I don't know why we wouldn't, it follows that you may have written something that you've thought about for a long time, and it's so brilliant that you can't write anything after, simply because none of that could compete. Or, it's ugly, however, you took the time to write it, and you don't want to get rid of it.
I once read a book, by Max Allan Collins, called Kill Your Darlings.  It's a mystery, about well, Bouchercon. Which may or may not be relevant to this rant. Basically, it's a book convention, where authors and publishers and fans go to promote, sell and buy, books. Which may be obsolete  by the time you read this, according to Seth Godin.

The phrase is relevant, simply because, at one point our hero is told to get rid of things that don't forward the plot. This also helps him solve the mystery of who shot whom, or of whom was shot, not sure.  It's a good thing. He stopped thinking, and started doing.

Procedurally, when writing, find chair, plant yourself in front of computer, and start writing. Don't stop. You'll find this method will make your stack of writer's blocks tumble down.

72 and sunny in Redondo Beach.

e You next time.

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• Writer's Block: The Myth and the Curse (zulkey.com)

The Finnegan Factor

Image via WikipediaThis is beginning to be a theme for this blog, actually. Another lesson from Star Trek, specifically the episode Shore Leave. Written by Theodore Sturgeon, no less. He of Sturgeon's Law fame. I'm beginning to believe that it's a conservative estimate, actually.

Where to begin, as all circular stories tend to take a point on the circumference of the circle, and move either clockwise or counterclockwise around it, until of course you get back to the point at where you started; meaning, I can't begin the beguine, as it were.

The beginning would goto the larger issue of, why are we here? As opposed to well say, there? The crew discovers what appears to be an uninhabited planet, while at the same time, needing rest from what we don't actually know, maybe what they went through last week. I don't actually know, simply because they gave the Stardates out of order.

McCoy and Sulu are on the planet, and report seeing lifeforms, where no lifeforms were previously scanned. Odd. Or, strange. Kirk beams down to investigate. Sulu finds a gun, specifically an 'old fashioned' police special, which he was thinking about previous, and amazingly, found 'over there.' Meanwhile, Kirk meets two people from his academy days, Ruth, and Finnegan. Ruth may very well be Dr. Marcus from Star Trek II, however, that's not specifically mentioned in the episode, and furthermore, not the topic of this rant.

Finnegan is a practical joker, not to be confused with The Joker, from Kirk's past. Kirk was always the butt of Finnegan's jokes. He first encounters Finnegan in the glade, and the taunting continues. A punch is exchanged, and then Kirk has to runoff, in order to find out why a Yeoman is screaming. He again encounters Finnegan toward the end, when he's almost figured out what's going on. What takes about 3 minutes of fighting occurs, interspersed with some witty and relevant dialogue, the most memorable of which is, "You stupid underclassman. I'm still 20 years old, and you're an old man!!" If we are to assume that Captain Kirk is, what, 29, or more likely, 32 at this point, it means he was a freshman, or 17 when he entered the academy.

You'd think I'd remember more of this episode, having just viewed it in its entirety at the above mentioned link, however, I guess I'm suffering from what Kirk was suffering from, at least in this ep. To keep up with everything, both online and off, one must have the wisdom and the knowledge of both Kirk, and Finnegan. The Kirk and Finnegan part of the storyline ends when Kirk finally beats up Finnegan, as it's something that he's always wanted to do.

To wit: People were here before the 'net. And those that would declare the net or the web, dead, are most likely to miss the point. The technology may change, however, people remain the same. Everything I learned in high school is apparently still true today.

72 and sunny in Redondo Beach.

As always, adjust your expectations accordingly.

The Muses

Image via Wikipedia

All nine of them. The original three mentioned below, shown here. The dictionary.com definition of Muse as opposed to the Wikipedia definition if you follow the link, is as follows:

any of a number of sister goddesses, originally given asAoede (song), Melete (meditation), and Mneme(memory), but latterly and more commonly as the nine daughters of Zeus and Mnemosyne who presided over various arts

1. Calliope
2. Clio
3. Erato
4. Euterpe
5. Melpomene
6. Polyhymnia
7. Terpsichore
8. Thalia, and last, but certainly not least;
9. Urania

Calliope (Calliopeia), the "Fair Voiced" and the eldest Muse, is the muse of epic poetry and is seen holding a writing tablet in hand, sometimes seen with a roll of paper or a book, and crowned in gold. Calliope is known for taking a fancy to Achilles and taught him how to cheer his friends by singing at banquets. She also was called by Zeus to mediate the quarrel between Aphrodite and Persephone over possession of Adonis. She settled the dispute by giving them equal time, providing Adonis some sorely needed free time to himself. By Apollo, she bore Linus, who was slain by Hercules, and Orpheus. Clearly, she had a lot to sing about....

Clio the "Proclaimer" is the muse of history and is often seen sitting with a scroll and accompanied by a chest of books. She has been credited with introducing the Phoenician alphabet into Greece. Clio had teased Aphrodite's love of Adonis, and in consequence of her wrath, Clio fell in love with Pierius, the son of Magnes and the king of Macedonia. By Pierus, she bore Hyacinth.

Erato the "Lovely" is the muse of love poetry and mimicry, and is seen with a lyre and sometimes wears a crown of roses. From here we get the term eros love, actually.

Euterpe the "Giver of Pleasure" is the muse of music and is represented with a flute. It has been said she is the inventor of the double flute. By the river Strymon, she bore Rhesus (no relation to the monkey) who was slain at Troy.

Melpomene the "Songstress" is the muse of tragedy in spite of her joyous singing and is represented by the tragic mask. She is sometimes seen with garland, a club and a sword. She is often seen wearing cothurnes, boots traditionally worn by tragic actors, and a crown of cypress. So, if you ever meet a woman with a boatload of shoes, she should be considered a tragic character. Aren't they all? :)

Polyhymnia (Polymnia), "She of Many Hymns," is the muse of Sacred Poetry and is seen with a pensive look upon her face. She brings distinction to writers whose works have won them immortal fame. She has also been called the Muse of geometry, mime, meditation and agriculture. Polyhymnia is often veiled.

Terpsichore the "Whirler" is the muse of dancing and is often seen dancing with her lyre and a plectrum, an instrument used for plucking stringed instruments. By the river god Achelous, she bore the Sirens. Those on So You Think You Can Dance are most likely inspired by her.

Thalia (Thaleia) the "Flourishing" is the muse of comedy and of playful and idyllic poetry, and is seen with a comic mask. She is sometimes seen with a crown of ivy and a crook. By Apollo, Thalia had the Corybantes, priests who castrated themselves in identification with the goddess, Cybele.

Urania the "Heavenly" is the muse of astronomy and is represented by a staff pointed at a celestial globe. She foretells the future by the position of the stars. So, if you know any astrologists, they probably worship her.

Inspiration is a funny and fickle thing. Recently, I met the living embodiment of all nine Muses, and my life will never be the same. I hope you will enjoy the dramatic left turn my life has taken with me.

72 and sunny in Redondo Beach.

Adjust your expectations accordingly.

Clearly....

Or, maybe not so clear. Yes, it's going to be one of those posts, therefore, Guy Kawasaki probably won't read it. However, that's a recurring theme from another blog for which I write, unless I were to end a sentence with a preposition, in which case it would be a blog I write for.

Today's advice is, don't take my advice, unless of course it conflicts with other advice which is the same. Which is impossible, which is why I give it. Now is the time for all good men to come to the aid of their blog posts. I say this, simply because it may be time for a redesign. For either this blog, or others that I may or may not have.

Why, you ask? Or maybe you didn't. I don't truly know, however, I can indeed answer my own questions, as Mike Caro has been doing lately. I get the impression from the other sites out there that tell me how to do various things, that I should think of a product launch. Well, I don't have a product, beyond my words, unless moviemaking counts, however, people usually ask me to do that, and pay me quite handsomely for the privilege to make their movie for them. As with all things poker, which indeed have things to do with life itself, I've hit a dry spell recently. Haven't made a film since my recent 168 Project. Which is four months back as I type this, so, maybe, not so recent.

I've been covering various events lately, and using my Flip Mini to do so, however, I'm not really a reporter, although, the fine folks at Soak Magazine would have you think differently. The reality is, I'm a columnist, meaning, I write things like this, and again, get paid to do so. Again, this is dealing with words that I write as well. Supposedly, I must make these words look good, as supposedly, you're going to come here to read them after I write them.

I'd ask you to come here before I write them, however, that would be well, again impossible, which is quite likely why I do it. Getting back to the original rant, er, post, I feel that a lot of advice out there conflicts with other advice, and according to some, I get to pick which advice to take. Great. I'll do that.

What this means is simple. I will at some point, redesign all of my sites, to make them different from the others. I will also start posting more frequently than I have been of late, as apparently, it's the only way to launch a product that I don't have. And furthermore, I'll do this everyday, or not, as I've been told that I should blog everyday, while at the same time, I should only do so when I have something to say.

In conclusion, or to make a long story short, which at this point is much too late, I give you the same site design I started with, simply because I like it. However, I reserve the right to change it. 

72 and sunny in Redondo Beach.

e You next time..

Yes, That's Right...

I have no time to do all the things I'm getting paid to do. In addition, I'm creating new work for myself, that will at some point generate income. Therefore, to those of you that may read this as a tweet, or a post, or whatever, do know that I will get to everything within the next 12 hours, whether or not you've hired me to do it. Thanks!!!

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Why I'm not currently Tweeting at my Usual Rate....

Waiting for a film to import to iMovie, and I'm going to watch The Mentalist while it does....

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This is a job for...

Wait, wrong blog. Ok, I'll rant here. There have been several things swirling around my brain lately, and this will be a rant that is random, as opposed to a random rant. Which is still another blog that I have.

Seth Godin believes that you shouldn't watch TV according to this post, but what he specifically describes in his blog, is the TV watching you. I get that. What about those of us that are in the industry? Doesn't it make sense to keep track of current trends, so we aren't accused of stealing someone else's ideas? Furthermore, multitasking is alive and well. While I have the TV on in the background, I'm composing this entry, and tweeting as well. I also have several other tabs open, with various stories that will contribute to other posts either here or elsewhere. He's wrong about this one, that's all I'm saying....

Of course, now that I'm mentioning him in this post, he'll get more link juice, which is a good thing, for him. It may at some point create a larger readership for me, however, I don't necessarily know that I want the larger readership that everyone else says I should have. If everyone is doing the same thing to increase their following, how does one stand out?

I once read that the follow me and I'll follow you paradigm is six years out of date, as of this writing. I came to the conclusion that to stand out, one must lead. If you want to go where I'm going, then by all means, follow. On Twitter :) Otherwise, it's not necessary. At the same time, if you're following me, there should be no obligation on my end to return the favor. I've stated this elsewhere, so, no need to repeat.

I just read something else that says I shouldn't be obligated to post a blog entry everyday. Or is it, every day? I get those two confused, sometimes. Probably because the first time I used the wrong one, I learned the other usage, and get the two confused.

Great, I got distracted. If anything resonates, by all means, leave a comment. This rant is effectively over.

Of course, I reserve the right to post another one, elsewhere, later....

72 and sunny in Redondo Beach.